Share one of your own peak experiences.

          

(I originally posted this in the Adventures in the Mystical Ocean thread in the II-Zaadz pod).

Several years ago, on morning 5 of my first ten-day contemplative retreat, I awoke and sensed that some psychic toxin had been lifted out of me. Days of stillness and long drinks of silence had allowed unseen poisons to rise to the soulsurface and exit my bodymind. This left me feeling exquisitely light and quietly joyful.

Later that afternoon I was sitting alone in my little room, facing the open window and watching trees shimmer in the sunlight. Over the course of perhaps five minutes, I felt and observed my"self" as I subtly shifted into a different state of consciousness. It was as if a psychoactive perfume, a wafting ether, had drifted into the room and entered my nervous system. It also seemed like an invisible radiance descended into me from above and from all around me, entering me and then "pouring" through me out into my surroundings. Everything became suffused with this incredible radiance - the trees, the grasses, the very air itself "invisibly" glowed! It sent me into bliss, and made me feel so incredibly tender and loving toward everything I saw and thought of. There was also a sense of unusual alertness and clarity.

I remained in this "illuminated" state for the rest of the day, and for many days after that, although not quite as "strong," this state seemed to keep "hitting" me. The slightest movement of a bird could send me into inexplicable laughter. Walking outside one day, I accidentally stepped on a snail and felt a rush of regret over ending its tiny life. (Snails are not creatures that I would normally feel this degree of regret over). Everything and everyone was so luminously, rapturously, loveable ...

For a few days, after I had returned to my "normal" life, I felt like my soul had been cleaned and set out in the sun to dry. It was marvelous - this transparency, this deep inner calm, this immense gratitude. I also felt free of "agenda," which actually led to some humorous situations while driving...

This was a part of my "honeymoon" period spiritually. I thought it would go on forever, that this holy bliss would continue to grace me as long as I continued practicing contemplative prayer. Alas, it didn't last! It never does ...